Everyone organizes their life based on what they believe is true
That organization becomes a pattern
Life Patterns repeat, are organized, achieve a goal, and negotiate stress
The easiest way to see patterns is in stories people tell about themselves
We moved many times when I was growing up. I felt a sense of dread each time I entered a new school building. o exist with new people and convert them to friends, I avoided asserting myself. I gave into their requests whether it was to sacrifice my lunch or give up a seat in the classroom that I wanted. By diminishing myself and my wants and needs, I found a way to get along with new friends.It seems to get love, I have to sacrifice what I want (decision). Today, the cycle continues. I enter a relationship. I try to assert myself. When something bothers me, I give my opinion and feelings about it. My partner says my opinion wrong. She explains why it’s wrong. I think about it. I give in to her opinion. I doubt myself and my feelings. I try to do it my partner’s way to make her happy. I become more frustrated. I get unhappy but I put up with it. I accept it for a long time. In the end, I remove myself; leave the relationship, just walk away. I move from relationship to relationship thinking it will be different but I end up alone and unhappy.
Life Patterns negotiate stress. Whether patterns are healthy or unhealthy depends on personal experiences and choice about how to reduce stress.