I talk in the workshops about decisions being power, but what does it mean? On the surface it seems obvious that the person who makes a decision has the power to make it happen. This is not always the situation. Suppose you live in an apartment and decide you want a house. You do not have the money to buy a house. You may have credit problems. You may need a job. You can wish for a house but your decision is not actionable. The house is in the future, not now. If you merely continue to wish for the house, you have not decided to have one. Instead, you have let the bank or non-employment make the decision. Many people do not have the ability to tolerate the stress of waiting for what they want, while they work to get it. They cannot delay gratification. Our society seems to frown on waiting to get something you want. As such, people sometimes claim they cannot make decisions because others won’t let them.
In 1989, Bruce McIntosh coined the term “spoiled child syndrome”. It describes a child like this: His affluent parents could not understand why Aaron could not get to school on time. He had a car and lived only four miles from his high school, but he was tardy almost daily. The parents felt they knew what to do. They bought him a house directly across from the school property so that he could walk to school. The first week he did better. Then, the tardiness began again. When they checked, Adam was selling parking spaces to his friends on the front lawn, which was ruined, and he had regular parties that damaged the property even during school hours. The parents learned these facts when the school complained about his behavior. All his parents wanted was for him to graduate with his class, but his failing grades and absenteeism reduced his chances. Who was making the decisions?
Of course, it was Aaron. The person, who makes the decision, has the power. They set the goals and control the situation. If you want something in life, suffer the stress, and decide to have it. Set a goal for the future beginning now. Today is the only time you get to make a decision. Make it today and start to organize your behavior, as if the decision is made. If you want a house, what are all the problems you face to get it? Take each one and problem solve it to a decision. As you move toward the goal more problems arise, take each one and solve it. When you learn to make decisions in your life, you become successful. In reality decisions are either yes or no. Either you want the house or you do not. Either you choose drugs or you do not. Either you treat the people you love with support or you do not. There is no maybe in decision making.